Establishing a relationship with a commitment -term long as marriage is certainly not everything goes smoothly as that had been planned . Destruction of marriage can only occur in slowly , or even years after getting married .
In the days that , without realizing it slowly relationship husband wife became more tenuous . Starting from the mismatch bit that easily trigger conflict , until the conflict prolonged which makes the house stairs disbanded .
Quoted from page LoveLearnings , researchers Robert Levenson of the University of Washington and John Gottman of the Gottman Institute have studied the psychology of marriage and the dynamics of the relationship for many years , based on the results they menukan 5 signs that indicate a marriage that will end up with divorce .
What only 5 pins relationship on the verge of divorce it ?
1. The existence of criticism or complaints of each other
The first sign of problems in marriage is criticism and complaints . Not like the criticism that given previously , in fact it leads to the situation where a couple angry at the actions or behavior of couples them , so start to blame them or the personality they are .
For example, as things easily that says you’re not the type of person who a lot of help work home , and rarely clean up the kitchen after eating dinner .
But one day mate responded by saying , ” You do not ever want to help clean up this , the basic slacker .” It could be one of the criticisms that often shows the marriage started not healthy . Plus more criticism that given the case is insistent and seemed increasingly painful .
2. The presence of the defense on himself alone
The second sign is self – defense and often goes hand in hand with criticism . Defense self here is when one of the pair responded to the comments of criticism against his partner to reverse the situation and trying to divert fault partner .
For example, just like before you called idler , might reactions plea of self that you do is dodge to break because it was tired of doing the work that many days it . A sign defense themselves are accompanied by criticism of the pair of each other. This is a sign of a husband and wife relationship on the edge of divorce .
3. Insulting a partner
The third indicator that marriage is on the verge of divorce is an insult . In terms of this , an insult to the essentially means that when only when the partner has opinions negatively about yourself and believe he was much better .
For example , statements like ” you really don’t know anything , do you ?” It as it is one of the examples of contempt that is believed to researchers as the sole predictor of strong divorce . You can start talking about the good before each insult is more distant and ending divorce are true .
4. Start to pull away to avoid
Signs have started to look for mate began menjau and looks do not really listen or accept what are you saying when trying to express points of dispute or complaint . It is most often associated with men , and research shows that approximately 85% of the time it is located on a pair of men are guilty because of interesting themselves in emotionally .
Usually this happens because she has a hope that does not get in any sense or raised the topic by way of ” nagging “.
But in spite of it all , does this case the husband or wife who started appealing self , if it occurs is kept constant may be news bad for the period before marriage .
5. Interaction of Negative exceed their interactions positive
Mark the last of this , which is also an indicator that is clear of marriage in crisis , is the ratio of the interaction positive with the negative that is lower by a couple you. Let me explain .
Simply put , the couple married the happy and healthy has averaged 5 interaction ” positive ” – laughing together , mutually complementary , hugging or kissing , provide support and encouragement – for each meeting . Temporal interaction ” negative “, which are things like criticizing , lying , arguing , etc .
Weddings are not healthy tend to have more a lot of interaction negative than interactions positive like that mentioned . It may be necessary to talk with a cool head so that the debate does not end in divorce .
However, if the interaction negatively the berangsung often , then your marriage really be said in the threshold of the serious and on the verge of divorce . Those are 5 signs that you can learn . If there is a conflict that can be resolved well , try to finish together before each sued one each other.